I am taking a temporary leave from my cave of procrastination and inner turmoil to express my thoughts about stuff. Stuff is life.
I’ve been pondering this question lately. “Where do you stand in life?” I usually ask myself this in the shower as I wash away the guilt from being unproductive. I’m not sure where I stand. I know who I stand amongst and I occasionally compare my lifestyle to others but I try not to ponder too much about it as it can eventually erode one’s mind and confidence. It has for me at least. This totally sounds like I’m coming out.
What if life has a speed limit? Would I be in the slow lane watching everyone pass me by in their fancy cars moving onwards to a beautiful vacation that they rightfully earned through smart investments and hardened work ethics? Sometimes I wish I had a type A personality. I also wish I was raised with some direction. Hell, I wish I was challenged more.
It’d be nice to ride unencumbered and content with one’s speed, no matter how fast it is. We’re all heading somewhere eventually. Sometimes I feel like I’m riding through the brush instead of the road.
The upside to my vague frustrations is change. I’ll be making a few changes to my place of living and the people around me which should be creatively refreshing. I think good things are to come if I accept that I must make progress no matter how small it is every day.
This hermit s’gone toss his shell.
The only time I don’t feel anxious is when I’m in nature. The daily buzzing of productivity, putting in the hours, forcing smiles and trying to figure out the key to an ideal life dissipates into the rustling leaves tickled by the wind. Life continues to exist and go on at its own pace. Clarity can most certainly be achieved in a natural state of mind.
I felt a similar peace of mind when visiting some dunes in Indiana. The delightfully crisp breeze blasting across Lake Michigan. The elevated dunes revealing an expansive horizon framed in by cheeky branches. It was a day filled with content sighs. Nature instilled a calmness in me in the form of an empty mind devoid of any anxious forethoughts. It was a good day indeed.